by Michele on December 1, 2009
James and I love to watch the Discovery Channel. Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs (Mike Rowe, you’re on my “list!”), Cash Cab (Ben Bailey, you’re on that “list” too. *ahem*) and so on. A couple of shows we never miss are Storm Chasers and Ghost Lab.
In honor (?) of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck…” I bring you “You might want to get the hell out of here…”
You might want to get the hell out of here… if you see a half mile long line of storm chasing vehicles. If you see that wackadoodle Reed Timmer from TornadoVideos.net, go in to opposite direction FAST. That dude is nuts and will likely get you killed. That being said, Reed, I’d love to ride with you sometime!
Although storms and tornadoes freak the hell outta me, I have always wanted to go along on a storm chase. To get up close to a massive dangerous storm and yet be safe… that’s my jumping out of an airplane.
The other thing that freaks my freak are ghosts. When I lived in Delaware my roommate and I swore up and down that our apartment was haunted. The oven or stove would turn on without one of us doing it.. lights being turned on and off… that sort of stuff. My cat, Mulder, was very jittery in that apartment. He never felt comfortable but in my bedroom, which was an addiction on to the front of the row house our apartment was in.
When I watch shows like Ghost Lab I am a total sucker and believe what’s going on. So, with that said… You might want to get the hell out of here if you see the Ghost Lab trailer parked outside of your house. You can’t mistake the damn thing, it’s big and black with HUGE lettering in neon green that says, get this, Ghost Lab.
I don’t think I am brave enough to go on one those those adventures. Ghosts scare me more than tornadoes.
Hi there, I am Michele and I have SUCKER tattooed on my forehead. Nice to meet you!
by Michele on November 17, 2009
I messed up NaBloPoMo, the month of nonstop blogging. I went to bed and remembered that I hadn’t posted just as my eye closed. I was too tired to get up and find something witty to say and went to sleep. The days that followed were busy (what day isn’t?!) and I couldn’t find a way to get back on the wagon.
See, I fall off the wagon a lot. It took me 5+ real good attempts to quit smoking before I kicked the habit. Still, when I smell a good cigarette I crave it like mad (some seem to smell like monkey ass, or what I would assume a monkey’s ass would smell like because I, myself, have most definitely NOT smelled a monkey’s ass before). My grandpa quit when I was a kid after I tried to beat him to his chair (it was really my grandma’s recliner – a present thing) and his ashes burned holes in the fabric. He says he still craves them every once in a while.
I’ve fallen off the diet/lifestyle change wagon more times than I can count. Hit a plateau, throw my hands up in the air and say “screw it” while eating an entire bag of M&M’s. I haven’t really fallen off the wagon in these past 6 months. I have really settled it in my head that I am going to do this damn lifestyle change and get ready to live life now eating as if I had already had gastric bypass surgery – but with bigger portions, cos, dude, I can’t live on 3 tablespoons of food per meal.
Monday I finally finished my psych evaluations. She wanted to see me one more time to make sure I was able to kick any residual snacking habits. She seems pretty comfortable with her findings but warned me that they (the hospital doing the surgery & my insurance aka the man) might want me to start therapy once again.
Part of me really would like to go to therapy to work out some shit in my head. The other side, the stubborn bitch who has kept me on track these past 6 months, is kinda insulted that they think I can’t be both depressed and not turn to food. My depression is well under control with medication right now and the feeling I got from the nurses at the hospital where I will have surgery was that they were cool with this.
Only time can tell, I suppose. I seem to have all of my ducks in a row – although getting other people to do the same isn’t that easy. My doctor’s nurse still has not faxed down some vital information that I have asked her several times to do. I am hoping that by the end of the week I’ll be receiving a phone call from the hospital wanting to set up the last of my appointments before I have surgery.
This is finally happening. Oddly, I am getting nervous. Excited and scared.
I know that you can fall off the wagon after having gastric bypass surgery and gain back all of the weight. Thing is, that bitchy stubborn side of me won’t let that happen. I am determined to do this.
Now if only I could find the determination to finish some knitting projects I’ve begun. MITTENS!! I am going to knit mittens until I can knit mittens no more. I figure that someone will always need a pair of those dang things. I am trying to weed through several pretty good (and easy) patterns on Ravelry. I need a pattern that can be worn on either hand. Hell if I am going to be searching for lefts and rights with 5 kids.
by Michele on November 6, 2009
We went to the in laws today and came home with 2 kittens. The hell?
They are cute and pictures will come forth shortly. The animals now out-number the humans… 2 of them are my mothers, but still.
by Michele on November 6, 2009
Here is my favorite of the Halloween pictures. I know it’s a week late – do I have to remind you about the whole procrastination thing??
Case in point: I had to get out of bed to post this. Couldn’t stand to mess up NaBloPoMo.
Without further ado….
The make-up didn’t stay on for long… and looking at some of the pictures, they didn’t really like it in the first place.
Ah, Halloween. It’s all about the torture.
by Michele on November 5, 2009
I love the news… I hate the news. I love being informed but can’t handle the news much these days. I will hear just a tidbit of a news story about a child who died and turn the channel. I don’t want my kids to listen to the non-ending CNN coverage of breaking news. Balloon Boy, Fort Hood, gang rape at school … it goes on and on.
My heart is broken as it is. It cracks more and more thinking of the suffering. Was there always this suffering and we just didn’t know it because of the absence of 24-hour news networks?
What about the people who the stories focus on? Now they are hot topics for Nancy Grace and the like.The more horrific the crime, the more she gets worked up, the higher the ratings are. Yet, there are those behind it all who are trying to tape their hearts back together with duct tape.
I have no idea where I am really going with this. Just turning the tv off for a bit, I suppose. Not to live with blinders on, but to keep my tape on for just a little bit longer.
by Michele on November 4, 2009
I am a procrastinator. I was the one who didn’t really start a project until it was due within a couple of days. I’d use the excuse that I worked better under pressure and that if I had finished the paper weeks ago I would’ve rewritten it over and over again.
James seems to be the same way. I asked him several times to email me the pictures his mom took of the babies on Halloween. No pictures. I may have to resort to breaking into his laptop to email them to me myself.
In other news it was just snowing outside and then it suddenly stopped. There was no snow in the forecast. Someone is messing with me.
Also, even though the rest of my body may be warm, if my nose is cold, I am cold. I also like commas and the overuse of them. My nose is cold. I am going to bed. Wake me in June when it finally warms up a bit.
by Michele on November 3, 2009
Well, today’s voting day wasn’t as exciting as it was last year. his year the only thing bringing us to the polls was a school referendum. The district is broker than broke and laid off a good chunk of teachers this year along with getting rid of just about every sport they couldn’t combine with a neighboring district.
I hate to admit this, but one of the biggest reasons why we are moving is because of the school here. It’s a tiny district made up of 2 towns – one town has the elementary while the other has the high school. There are some sports for the guys, but very very little for the girls. The options for classes are slim as well. It makes me sad to see how different of an education some of these kids are getting compared to what I got when I was a kid.
…and I am totally not doing the whole “when I was a kid we walked to school … up hill .. both ways!” thing. I was afforded several advanced placements classes as well as just about every sport the guys played. OK, I most definitely was not a sports person, but I was a huge music and drama person. They no longer have music and art classes at my daughter’s school. Her teacher might teach art, when she has the time.
These referendums (there were 3 of them) would more than likely double the property taxes of those who live in the district. Sounds awful, right? Except we pay less than $200 a year in property taxes. Get your jaw up off the floor.
When we move we’re going to pay 5 times that.
Looking at the news now, it looks like only 1 of the three passed. It’s better than nothing, but the school needs more. These kids deserve more. They deserve to go to a school where they don’t need to dress in layers because the heat is turned down so much. They deserve to have swimming lessons instead of having them canceled because they can’t afford to fix the pool. They deserve so much more, but I don’t think they’ll ever get it.
I am a huge asshole in it all, because we’re fleeing. We want better for our kids (without them having to sit on the bus for a very long time).
by Michele on November 2, 2009
I am totally phoning it in today. Today has been odd and capped off in a most painful way.
Plus: I am not nuts. A bit depressed and have low self esteem, but duh, I knew that. Still requiring one more counseling session in 2 weeks. Surgery happening this year is looking like less and less of a possibility.
I found 3 princess dresses in the clearance racks at Target. The babies can’t wear them until they are, oh 3, but I am planning ahead. Plus, Abby can wear them for Halloween for a couple of years…. she’s very pleased.
My mother in law brought over awesome pictures of the kiddos dressed up for Halloween. Will get those posted tomorrow.
Now the minus: I have a farking migraine. It’s radiating down my neck and I am riding the nausea rollercoaster. I don’t like rollercoasters. At.all. It goes back to being bullied into riding the Corkscrew at Valleyfair. I’ve been a hater ever since.
I am a bad bad daughter. Today is my dad’s 60th birthday and I have not called him. I can’t handle any noise what-so-ever. Will got he easy way out and email him in the morning explaining. Will also try to set something up this weekend as James is on call.
Speaking of James being on call – we can’t go to a birthday party for a daughter of some good friends. They moved away a few months ago… can’t be too far from home.
AND since James is on call we won’t be able to ee the house if and when it gets it’s roof. Finally. Yay.
I’d be more excited, but my brain and it’s stem are begging me to remain motionless. I am trying to get through a bit of Mrs. Kimble by Jennifer Haigh but it’s kinda depressing me. I also have The Blind Side to read. Football feel-good story that is a new movie with Sandra Bullock. I am a sucka for Sandra Bullock.
by Michele on November 1, 2009
I have participated in NaBloPoMo for the past few years. In the beginning I was well into the whole blogging thing and thought it would be a really cool way to find other blogs. Plus, it gave me an excuse to post every single day. As the years went on it started to become a kick in the pants to post more than once a month…
I had a post written in my head last night. Several things happened that lead to a night of misery for both James and I. Ethan’s name popped up several times throughout the day in the most unexpected way. The push over the edge was watching the movie Rachel Getting Married with Anne Hathaway. The movie had been sitting in it’s Netflix envelope for over a month forgotten, but this past weekend James and I were heading to the camper without the kids….
So, the basic plot of the movie is this girl, Kym, is getting out of rehab for a few days to attend her sister, Rachel’s wedding. Kym has been in and out of rehab for over a decade after her little brother died in a car accident that she caused when she was high on pain killers. Her brothers name? Ethan.
It didn’t help that I also identified with the mom and sister issues… I couldn’t stop crying. It was like my eyes are dripping faucets that could not be stopped. James knows that I am a crybaby when it comes to emotional movies. He’s also a very wise man and never looks at me and laughs as I bawl over some fictional piece of crap that we’re watching. He just hands me the tissues and goes back to the screen. What a man.
After the movie ended the ball of emotion was growing in my throat and I couldn’t stop it. When it erupts it feels like my entire body is having a major earthquake. James asked what was wrong…and I ended up pulling him into my grief cellar with me. I hated that I had made him hurt as much as I was hurting.
Ethan died nearly 6 years ago. The hurt? It’s still there. When I get down into the darkness that elephant climbs back on my chest and I feel as if I could suffocate at any moment. There is a huge part of my heart that isn’t with us any more. I don’t know if it’s buried with Ethan or just floating in the ether… but it’s not with me.
Thing is, I wouldn’t changing him dying. I know that might sound completely awful of me. If Ethan hadn’t died we would not have Abby, Lauren, Katie or Megan. Our life would have revolved around Emma and Ethan. Ethan would more than likely had some very special needs and we would not have gone the route that we did to have our other daughters.
It is not that I love Ethan less or wish he had died. It’s just the facts that are out there. His dead has taken me down a path that I would have never been on had he not died. Some of this path really sucks while some of it is lined with happiness and butterflies.
I am on kind of a sucky part of the path right now. Eyes are puffy and I would much rather stay in bed for a little while longer. Instead I get out of bed to be greeted by hugs and kisses from my girls. I think they can sense my funk even if they don’t understand.
So, here’s to blogging through the funk.
by Michele on October 28, 2009
Last week I went to take three psychological evaluations, you know, just for fun. Actually, they were one of a million hoops I have to jump through before I have gastric by-pass surgery. I totally understand the need for these tests, let’s face it, if you have some major psychological issues you should wait to get that straightened out before you go have major surgery. There are many good things that weight loss surgery can do, giving you self-esteem isn’t one of them.
Some of the questions made me laugh. You’d think that they’d try to be sneaky when figuring out if you’re a pyromaniac or not. No way, they ask you if you like starting fires and if you’re not afraid of fire. In one of the other tests I was asked several times if I was lying in my answers or telling the truth. They were worded in such a way that you really had to pay attention before you answered true or false.
I don’t know my results yet. I was pretty truthful and the psychiatrist I am seeing knows that I don’t have the greatest of self-esteem currently. I have also completely Dr. Phil’d my ass, so I know what my issues are and I know what they stem from.
So, Monday I find out how messed up I really am and if I could potentially be a police officer. The first test that I took is the same one they issue to police offer wannabes. Awesome.
