This gorgeous face has been on my mind all day. Her parents and their bottomless grief have been in my heart all day. The community of bloggers and twitter users have renewed my faith in community, even if it is “just” an online one. The hearts and prayers of people all over the world have circled around the Spohrs today.
We’ve heard secondhand how humbled they are by our support and love. Heather and Mike joined a club that no one wants to join yesterday.
When you’ve lost a child and you hear about another couple who have lost theirs you’re instantly ripped back to the moment when you heard that you child was not going to make it. Images flash through your mind what those final moments. When Ethan died I completely disassociated with my body. I watched myself as I became animalistic, heaving with grief.
Maddie’s death was completely unexpected. The news spread throughout this little community and we quickly realized that it wasn’t so little afterall. Just look through this Twitter search of Maddie’s name and look at the thousdans of dollars that were raised in the name of Maddie for the March of Dimes. People across the nation are setting up their own March for Babies teams to walk in honor of Maddie. Using Twitter people are connecting with one another, brought together by that beautiful face up there.
Maddie touched so many of us. Through Heather’s words and pictures. She could bring a smile to just about anyone’s face instantly and had many admirers all around the world, seven of which live in this house. When I started this post Abby came up behind me and wondered why I was looking at more pictures of Maddie. She had fallen for both Maddie Spohr and Maddy Logelin so much that she named her baby that she got from Santa, Madeline. When James called on his way home from work I broke the news to him. I didn’t even have to tell him who she was or how I knew her, he remembered her face instantly.
I’ve broken down many times today thinking about what Heather and Mike are going through. Knowing the pain of those empty arms, making arrangements no parent should ever have to make. I can only hope that those of us out here who are thinking and praying for them are the light in the fog. There just aren’t the right words to tell them how sorry we are.
I haven’t sorted out how to end this post but I can hardly see the screen at this point. James and I are thinking about walking in the March for Babies on April 18th in our area. Not only will we march for Maddie but for Ethan, Lauren, Megan and Katie.
Goodnight sweet Maddie.
Here is our team’s donation badge.
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