If I could take it back….

Ever have publish remorse? I have.

Just after I published that last post I started packing my suitcase for the weekend. Just like every weekend that has gone before for the past month or so, we were headed to my mother’s house to continue tearing her house down so we can build a new home for our family. This weekend was different because the kids were not coming with us. They are staying at home with James’ mom so we can work on the house without worrying about meal times and keeping 3 babies happy.

The babies were still taking their naps when James and I were ready to leave. We woke them up so we could say goodbye and to break our hearts just a little bit so we would be sure to come rushing home on Sunday. Those girls are so happy when they wake up.

Megan has been particularly clingy today. Not being able to move an inch without carrying her on my hip may have been the camel that broke mama’s back. Or something like that. Just as she was when she went to sleep, she still wanted to cling to me and only me. No one else would do.  What can I say? No one has mama’s boobs which make such lovely pillows to cuddle up with.

We’re lucky in the sense that the babies don’t cry when we leave. Abby, the nearly 4 year old, is practically throwing us out the door. Emma, the 10 year old, is the one who seems to get the saddest. She would fold herself up in our suitcase if we didn’t pack 6 changes of clothes for 2 days.

There is a huge chunk of my heart that is still at our house with my five beautiful daughters. There is also a part of my sleepy self that is looking forward to sleeping in until 9am tomorrow morning.

Last night there was one of those spectacular regular old summer thunderstorms. The screen door on the front porch was slightly ajar and so I went to close it before the storm started it and the door went banging against the iron handrail. Outside it was completely silent. Steady lightening off to the north and west but absolutely no thunder.

James and I climbed into bed and I cracked the large window that is at the head of our bed. We lay there waiting and watching. Finally, the rain began dripping off the roof onto the metal ladders beneath the window. Then the thunder arrived. I don’t remember anything else since I passed out. Lulled to sleep by the rain and thunder. That’s my favorite way to fall asleep.

As we drive into Bemidji tonight, there is another storm off to our left. It will miss us, but maybe, hopefully, there will be another one to lull us to sleep again tonight. Although thunderstorms in a camper are a lot louder than our very insulated plaster walled home. It amazes me how little we hear nestled in that house. I love that house, I just hate where it’s located and the lack of bedrooms and bathrooms. I mean, really, there are 6 females under that roof.

Another post that went on some wild tangents. I am really good at those.

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