Beware of the Couch Cushions

Do not, I repeat, do not steam clean your sofa unless you want to be completely grossed out.

Since we moved our bedroom into our formal dining room we’ve been having our meals in the living room. The kids get the couch, James get the big ass recliner and I am usually on the computer chair (my ass isn’t glued here, I swear). As kids are prone to do, there is spillage every once in a while. Most of the time clean up is easy with a wet towel, but other times you don’t get to it until it’s too late and so you’re sitting there picking at dried whatever it is, hoping that what ever it is it’s not that gross.

Abby had smashed one too many bananas in the sofa as some sort of revolt against eating bananas every day. So, the perfectionist in me screamed out “I’ll steam clean that mo-fo in no time!” It took a couple of weeks for me to actually get around to it, but today, I cleaned that mo-fo… it took me all day.

The middle cushion is Abby’s spot and spots it had. Drips of juice and milk and lord knows what else. On either arm rest were marks of spit up from a year ago when the babies had issues keeping their food down. All of it sucked up.

When I dumped the container the color of the water made me wonder what else had been spread all over that couch. I felt a little ill thinking of the millions of times I had laid on that couch, hiding it in the arm rests so James couldn’t see how much a certain movie would make me cry.

Ew. Ugh.

So now it’s clean and very water logged. Luckily, we’re going “camping” again this weekend and I’ve put a fan on it. Hopefully it will be dry by the time we return on Sunday night. Otherwise we’ll be having picnics on the floor. Abby would totally love that.

* “camping” – staying in our camper that is parked in my mom’s front yard. It’s our temporary house while we tear down her house and build a new one. What a glorious way to spend a weekend, eh?

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