by Michele on March 10, 2010
Examples:
- I read Twilight (The Twilight Saga, Book 1) in 2 nights. I know, I gave in and read it. Even more shocking (or not) I liked it and have since checked out the rest of the series. I don’t know if I’ll watch the movies. Kristen Stewart grosses me out a bit, especially after the cough over the shoulder thing she did on the Oscars on Sunday.
- Corey Haim is dead. What the what?! I mean, it’s not shocking how he went, it’s just he was “my” Corey. The other one was rather meh. I wonder if they’ll leave him out of the tribute at next year’s Oscars?
- We’re just over a week into March and nearly all of the snow has melted. The pessimist me in is waiting for the last 3 snow storms in which we are buried under an additional 5 feet of snow which does not melt until the 4th of July. I live in the tundra.
- Michael Vick is given the Ed Block Courage Award which is given by each team to one member who “exemplify commitment to the principles of sportsmanship and courage.” Instead of hiding my feelings of bullshit behind a cough I’d like to yell it out, except the kids might parrot me and that’s not good. Plus, Vick was picked up again by the Eagles. Should we leave him be because he’s done his time or should we still be a little pissed off because he still seems to reek of asshole?
- Someone in this house is stinky and it isn’t me. Wait, that isn’t so unusual. What is unusual is Megan’s obsession with it. At least her cute notification of pointing at her butt and asking if she may “poop?” will come in handy while potty training. These guys are nearly 2, so that’s just around the corner. Lord help me.
In other disjointed news, I went to the doctor and it’s not a tumor. (You gotta read that last bit as Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Kindergarten Cop.) He put me on blood pressure medicine that I have to take twice daily and make sure I don’t stand up too quickly or I’ll be all “I’m a little teapot……tip me over and pour me out” bam on the floor like. Hopefully this will be the last of the monthly migraines.
by Michele on February 28, 2010
I get headaches. Migraine headaches. When they storm in everything stops. Rather, I wish everything would stop. Asking, begging 5 kids to be quiet usually falls on deaf ears. I can’t blame them, everything is much more fun when it’s turned up to 11.
“I have a headache” comes out of my mouth more times that I would like to admit. Never used an excuse but I am sure it could be seen as that. James thinks I should have my head looked at a little more closely. I think my head is already a pretty scary place.
What really doesn’t help: reading PS, I Love You. The main character’s husband dies of a brain tumor. Don’t worry, I am not spoiling anything, the dude is dead before the book even begins.
So, I am going to go on ignoring whatever the hell is going on with my head and buy stock in Tylenol and the makers of Imitrex. Also, I am wondering how long this headache will last. James made a couple of wishes on his birthday a few days ago and I am sure they all had to do with sex acts. Don’t even go there telling me that orgasms will cure headaches. I fell for that one already.
by Michele on February 15, 2010
I am still setting up house here. I had posted a whiny tweet about how I was going to have to move my blog to blogger because the cost of hosting this little blog was just too much.
Diapers and milk … or blog hosting…?
Luckily, for me, I have an awesome friend who offered to help me out. You should check out her blog – she has some awesome recipes on there. I am totally trying to figure out a way to have dinner at her place.
Speaking of housekeeping, I hate it. I hate having a messy house but our house looks .. uh, lived in. I mean, how clean of a house can you have when you have triplets who are a year and a half old and a 4 and a half year old who thinks that she really IS a princess and shouldn’t have to clean up her toys.
Fact: Abby wears a crown to bed at night.
My mother and James’ mother are cleaning champs. My mom claims it’s much easier to clean someone else’s house than it is to clean your own. I say “whatever woman, just do those dishes!” Kidding. Really. I swear.
Valentine’s Day James and I brought the babes out to his parents’ place while my mom wrangled the older two at our house. The plan was to work on the car – our second vehicle that is only driven when there is no snow on the ground (which is like 3 months out of the year).
James and I spent the day in town buying parts for the car, James’ mom spent the day trying to get the babies to nap and my mom cleaned our kitchen. It’s amazing how much room things can take up when they are just piled where ever until they can find a better home. Vacuum cleaner … broken carpet steam cleaner … Polly Pockets in a bin that had been taken away as a punishment … various pieces of work clothing of James’ …
Suddenly I can see our beautiful floor again. Now I just have to tackle the counter tops.
Someday…..
Instead I started making a purse today and continued knitting Abby’s new winter hat. I got a bit too excited when putting the purse together and had to take several bit apart again. Now I need to sort out how to get the pockets in it with most of the sides sewn up. Oops.
I am crazy crafty. Not Martha Stewart crafty. I am flying by the seat of my pajama pants.
…and what all of this has to do with one another I haven’t got a clue. Putting together a coherent post is beyond me currently. Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol. By the way… who the heck thought it was a good idea to give Jamie Foxx a recording contract and access to AutoTune!? May they have to listen to that crap for all eternity.
by Michele on February 2, 2010
I am pouting. On the inside. Kinda.
I know I should be practical, but dammit. Here’s the deal: the husband and I are not giving each other anything for Valentine’s Day.
Money is tight (when isn’t it?) and anything extra that we have goes to the house we’re building. We *might* go to the movies sometime around Valentine’s Day. The husband is on call for work that weekend and it’s very unpredictable when he’ll get called in to work.
The selfish girl in me is stomping her feet and pouting big time. She wants a present and wants it to be pretty and thoughtful. She’s been looking around on Etsy waaaay too much and adding stores to her favorites. She wants to buy something for herself for Valentine’s Day.
The realistic practical me is standing next to the spoiled rotten little brat with her arms crossed shaking her head. She knows that Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday. She knows that we really need the money to buy things like milk for the kids. She thinks she already has too much stuff and doesn’t have room for more stuff. It’s just stuff!
Yeah, I am a little nuts. Who isn’t?
by Michele on January 24, 2010
I never once thought that I would be admitting this out loud to anyone. Weight is a, well, weighty issue. Usually once you’ve lost a substantial amount of weight you’re ok looking back where you were and talking about how far you’ve come. I’m going to just throw it out there now and use this little space to keep track of my weight loss progress.
Highest weight evah: 286 pounds – the day before the triplets were born
Weight on 5/20/09: 257
Weight day of surgery 1/7/10: 244
Weight today: 225
This hasn’t been easy weight to lose. My surgery isn’t a cure, it’s one of many tools I am using to lose the weight I need to lose. Totally sounding like a doctor, but they drill this stuff into you so you learn to live by it.
I am extremely happy with how things went this past year. When I finally got in for my first consult with the surgeon I was a little pissed off that it was going to take 6 months before I could even think of scheduling surgery. (ok, I was a little more than just a little bit pissed off… I was really pissed off.)
Looking back, I am glad I had that 6 months. During that time I met with my family doctor every month to go over my diet and work towards losing the required weight before surgery. My surgeon’s practice insists that you lose a predetermined amount of weight before surgery because it decreases the size of your liver by a great deal, thus making surgery a lot easier to accomplish without a lot of complications.
Also during that 6 months I met with a psychologist several times and worked through some of my own personal self esteem issues. I still have a lot to work through, but I think I am in a much better place psychologically than I was at this time last year. Then again,a t this time last year I was still hooked up to a wound vac and generally drugged out on painkillers.
It’s been 3 weeks since surgery and my incision where my gall bladder was removed is finally healing enough where I don’t need to hold it each time I move or cry out loudly when the babies elbow me. I just whimper now.
No, there are no pictures today. I just don’t feel like setting it all up. I do have a picture from before and I need to start taking actual measurements to go along with the weight.
I am happy that I got this much done. There are several members of our families who are still harassing me for Christmas cards and photos.
Baby steps, people.
by Michele on January 15, 2010
I’ve been quiet. Quieter than usual. I had posts planned about my surgery, which came up rather quickly, and the aftermath. I was going to post my actual weight *gasp* and how much I had ropped in the week since having my stomach made into a pouch.
With what’s happened in Haiti it all just seems so fucking stupid. I keep watching CNN and listening to stories of rescue and hope mixed in with stories of horror and death. Listening to NPR on my way down to Minneapolis for my 1 week recheck I had to turn the station. The reporter was describing dead children under a sheet or just laying in the open – alone. The story of a woman who lost all five of her children, her husband holding her down on a mattress trying to keep her from running around completely insane with grief.
My heart breaks for these people. I want to, need to, do something. More than money, something physical. I feel utterly useless sitting in my living room in the middle of nowhere Minnesota.
So, yeah, talking about my weight loss journey is going to have to wait. Ranting about how Jay Leno just needs to retire already is going to have to wait.
My heart and thoughts are with the Haitians.
by Michele on December 30, 2009
It’s the time of year again. Everyone takes a look back at the past year or decade and cringes hoping not to repeat the bad stuff in the coming year. We listen to the top 10 lists of whatever… celebrity meltdowns, memorable quotes (“you lie!”), songs (the good and the bad… miley cyrus & taylor swift need to get out of my head) and so on. Resolutions start to boil under the surface of our heads.Closer, more critical looks at our love handles and mama apron (tmi,i know – but dude, i had triplets and there’s a bit of skin that hangs down. ugh).
I used to resolve to make various resolutions and stick to them. Then I started to resolve to not make any damn resolutions because I was just going to break them a week later. Later I started to make secret resolutions, so if I failed, only I would know.
These are the things I am resolving to do in 2010:
- Yell at my kids less. I know I should say “not yell at my kids” but there are 5 of them and sometimes you have to yell to be heard.
- Take a picture every single day and upload it to Flickr. Once upon a time I participated in a 365days self portrait challenge. I failed miserably along with all of my friends who were doing it. This time around, I am not going to take pictures of myself every day, just a picture everyday.
- Love myself a little more. I have self esteem issues. Don’t we all? Mine can get in the way of my happiness more than I would like it to. I’d love to be one of those people who doesn’t give a flying rat’s patootie if so-and-so from high school doesn’t add me to her Facebook friends because she doesn’t remember me. Yeah, I was shy in high school, if I had to do it over again, I’d take the “fuck if I care” route and just be myself a bit more instead of living in fear of everyone else and what they thought of me.
- Finish projects I start. I did finish Emma’s fingerless gloves!! Woo! Next I want to make the babes some slippers with non-stick soles thanks to some puff paint. I haven’t found a pattern I like… but when I do, I promise not to knit them 3 sizes too big because that’s when I figure the kids will get them.
- To let go of the anger/jealousy I feel when James is lounging around watching tv while I frantically clean the house. I should also try to let go of having a clean house. The triplets are proving they can make a mess of the entire living room in a blink of an eye.
- Give myself a break. James’ mom has been coming over on Wednesdays. The first couple of weeks I took complete advantage of it and ran ff to the library for hours and hours of quiet time. Soon enough, I was leaving just to go grocery shopping and not spending any time at the library (free entertainment, yo). I need to get back in the library swing of things and allow myself a day of no kids.
- Stop being all OCD about lists. Like when my mother in law takes up 2 lines of the grocery list with one item. Or my need to make this list to 10 because it feels odd to just let it end right here.
- Stop talking to myself so damn much.
- Stop being scared to run to the bathroom in the dark after watching hours upon hours of ghost hunting shows. (Dudes! Ghost Adventures on the Travel Channel is like Ghost Hunters on crack. These guys try to get the ghosts to come up to them and harm them or some shit. Combine the two and I’d never leave the house!)
- Watch less television.
So, what are your resolutions?
I’ll be ending the year moving closer to changing my life drastically. Tomorrow I should learn when my gastric by-pass surgery date is.
Here’s to a happier, healthier new year!
by Michele on December 27, 2009
I really don’t have much to say at the moment. I am not lost in a depressed grief filled funk, I am just kinda floating out here where the thoughts don’t really come together in a way that I can get it out through my fingers. See? That last run-on sentence made absolutely no sense.
Christmas was a great snowed-in success. Kids got everything they wanted even though it was a less lavish affair than years past. They didn’t notice one bit. We didn’t get to see my family on Christmas Day due to a snow storm. My mother came on Christmas Eve and stayed until today.
Naps were had. Cookies were consumed. Five pounds were lost. Miracles can happen!
My gastric by-pass surgery has been approved. I am heading down to Minneapolis to meet with the doctor and complete a teaching appointment with the nurse (how to eat, vitamins needed, etc) on Thursday. So, I should know before the year is complete when my surgery will actually happen.
by Michele on December 18, 2009
I am still around, kinda. This time of year brings out the deep down grief that boils beneath the surface most of the year. It’s not spouting out of my nostrils of anything, but it’s closer to the surface. I feel like I want to cry for no apparent reason. I mean, I know there’s a reason, it just washes over me whenever it wants to.
No, I am not sad because I hate Christmas. I love Christmas, as a matter of fact. I love to get the tree and lights out and keep them out for as long as James will let me. My favorite thing to do at night after the kids (and usually James) go to bed is turn everything off but the Christmas tree and just chill.
Six years ago, James and I were heading out to do our Christmas shopping. We had left it until the last-minute that year, waiting to see when he would get laid off for the winter (back when he had a job where he was laid off each winter). I hadn’t felt the baby move much, so we were going to stop at the hospital real quick to have a little listen and then hit Target.
We never made it to Target.
My dad bought all of Emma’s Christmas presents that year and we gave James’ brother & sister-in-law all of the diapers we had been stock piling. Merry Christmas.
I don’t remember much from that Christmas. I know I spent quite a bit of time in bed. I know I was downstairs to see Emma open her gifts. I remember it was odd that both of my parents were in the same room at the same time and I didn’t give a flying fark if anyone was uncomfortable by it.
Christmas is hard. I am able to keep myself busy and try to keep my mind off from it. Then suddenly it gets closer to December 20th and I feel guilty that I have been avoiding his birthday and then the anniversary of his death. What kind of mom am I?
This is not to say that I have moved on, I will never move on. There is a huge piece of my heart missing from my home. There are questions from his younger sisters that I still have trouble answering. Abby, at 4 and a half, is starting to say things like “I miss my brother” even though she wasn’t born when he was here. She thinks he lives at the cemetery and she’s confused as to how he can be her big brother when he will always be a baby.
Where is the manual for dealing with this?
Until I sort that out, I keep knitting. My hands and fingers are sore from the lack of knitting any other time of the year. Calluses are starting to form again on my fingertips where the yarn slides through. I stare at my camera and wish I was motivated to do Christmas cards. I swear I’ll get them done but sometimes it feels impossible physically and mentally. I can’t explain it.
Abby, I know you miss your brother because I miss him too. Every.single.day.
by Michele on December 10, 2009
I had one of those days. One where I needed 3 extra pairs of hands and those eyes on the back of my head. I don’t think Mary Poppins could have controlled today.
I turned my head for one moment and Katie had the wipes container open with the wipes flowing out of it as if she were a magician pulling hankies out of her sleeve. Just as I got those stuffed back in I sat back down into a freak pile of strawberry jam thanks to Megan. Lauren? Well, she was off trying to climb up on our still unpacked suitcase so she could get up on our bed.
All the while Abby sat in the chair watching Word World asking how to spell the words they were spelling out for her that very second. Seriously, that very second. On the plus side, that kid knows how to spell apple now. On the minus side, she tattles whenever you spell apple by shouting out loud. I wouldn’t be a problem in a normal house, but I live in a very not normal house and when the three little ones hear the word apple they start chanting apple and demanding apples.
Apples are bought by the dozen and peeled in pairs. Dogs love apples and Lauren loves to feed the dogs pieces of apple. Katie loves to feed me by saying “AHHH!!!” in my face demanding I open my mouth. Megan wishes she were a singleton and could have the apples all to herself… along with mommy.
So, hopefully you’ll understand why I am going to leave my site looking the way it does tonight. See, I messed with something without realizing it was after 11pm. I should know better. If I mess with anything late at night, I am sure to mess it up. If I attempted to fix this, I would be up all night long deciding to change the whole theme completely.
Please excuse me while I attempt to enter dreamland where there are no wordpress themes that are messed up because I tried to make it an unsketchy theme.
